Cheerleader or Critic


Let’s face it, you’re always tired and often frustrated. Your life is hard and no one seems to notice. You give and give, and so little comes back. Before you know it, you are feeling sorry for yourself and angry at the world. That frustration slowly bubbles over and you become resentful and critical. Next thing you know, you are talking about people. You become judgemental and critical, maybe even against other special needs moms. What you have to say about them is less than kind, less than understanding. You can’t believe they could be so ______! 

Be honest, you know what I am talking about. Being critical of others is easy, and sometimes it even lets off a little steam. Taking our frustrations out on other people is a very “human” response, but here’s the thing, why in the world would we be so critical and judgemental of the only people on the planet that get what we’re going through? Why would we criticize the very people who share our life? I hear it all the time, and it has to stop. We should be each other’s biggest cheerleaders, not each other’s worst critics.

All of us know how hard this life is. We know how discouraging this path can be and how lonely. We cannot afford to turn against each other. We must watch out for each other, stand up for each other, and defend each other — because it is right, and because we already face the typical world who doesn’t understand our struggle. Other special needs parents are our allies, not our enemies. We are responsible for each other.  

James 4:11 says, “brothers and sisters, do not speak against (slander) one another.” So why do we do it? Usually, we say something critical because we have either let bitterness build up in our hearts, or we feel insecure in some way. It always starts with what is going on in our own heart. When you catch yourself criticizing someone, stop and ask, am I bitter or do I feel insecure? If you are bitter, then you know that forgiveness is the route you must take to get free. If you are insecure, then you know that you need to be reassured of how much you are loved and cherished by God. We forget don’t we? We forget that we are children of God and that we have nothing to be insecure about. 

No matter what sin we find ourselves dealing with, there is one path to freedom. It is found in James 4:7, “Submit to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” Before anything else, you must submit to God. Get your heart right with Him about your unforgiveness, insecurity, or whatever your issue is. Confess your problem and ask for help. When temptation comes, be alert and ready to resist. Sometimes, I ask God to show me the temptation as it is coming so that I will be on guard. Then we must STAND & RESIST. Hold your ground and do not give in to temptation. Stand firm, again and again, until the devil sees your are serious, gives up, and runs away (flee!). It may take awhile to get your footing, but if you submit and resist – you WILL have success. 

Let’s commit to turn the tide of unkindness in our community and stop “friendly” fire. Join me in reaching out this week to someone you know who needs encouragement. Share words of life. Let’s flood each other with support and love. Let’s build each other up. Proverbs 12:18 says, “There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Let’s put down our swords and bring the balm of goodness to each other. We, more than most communities, need each other! Now pick up those pom poms and let’s get cheering! 

In your corner – Becky

Becky Davidson